Tag Archives: funny poem

The Honest Truth

The Honest Truth

The Honest Truth

To hell with it-

I got through four lines
five different meters and
still thought it read
like shit

So I crumpled up the paper and
deleted it off the page
struck the words from my mind
and then bitched about
my age

___________________

Do I really need an explanation for this one, folks? I mean, I should have known it would be a Monday poem that gave me such hell. I had it all there, I swear and then it just sort of lingered and taunted me. Still, there’s always some good even for some really annoyingly bad work- the first title of collected work I am putting together will be titled Let’s Be Honest With Each Other. Why? Because I don’t want my first work to have some snazzy title or some pretty name ’cause, as you all might have noticed, that doesn’t seem to fit me very well and if there’s one thing I value in this world, it’s being genuine. Figured I might as well be myself if I am going to throw my writing out there for mass consumption.

Anywho, well here’s to hoping (as always) that your day flies by and that you’ve got something and on the rocks waiting for you when you get home tonight.

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My Only Haiku

pen writting on paper

My Only Haiku

“I don’t like haikus.
Three lines? What a joke! A ruse!
Whatever, I’m done.”

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Well, not going to lie, folks. This one is a post that I did nearly a year ago and was one of my  very first posts on this blog. Got a bit mind-tied today and decided to look back, and I rather like this little fella. Now, it’s not that I have anything against haikus, I just don’t like writing the myself. Not my style. So, in a poetry class years ago, one of our activities was to write a haiku and, as it stands, it is the only haiku I have ever and will ever write. For obvious reasons.

Here’s to hoping that your day flies on by and that you’ve got something cold and on the rocks waiting for you when you get home tonight 🙂

Contrary to Popular Belief

Toad picture

Contrary To Popular Belief

I wished upon a star and caught a

cold learned the hard way that frogs

taste of mold and that white rabbits

just happen to hide fleas

surprisingly well

That most monsters deserve the hell

they’ve gotten themselves into and

that walking in glass shoes gets you

about as far as the emergency room

should you ever dare to try

That wicked witches tend to look like

any other person would and that cute

little creatures rarely if ever

intend to clean or cook when they’ve

found their way inside

And that I in my twisted little mind

really ought to pick out a better

plan in life than following stories

where a man decides to pick his wife

by choosing whatever twit he finds

caught in a sticky situation and

needs saving from her own self-crafted

demise.

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Well, you made it to Friday, Folks. Congratulations on getting through another week. Wanted to end back on one of my typical sort of poem. You know, one that is at least poking fun at something. This one might just be a scrap, but I think it looks like it might turn out well when I get it fleshed out some more and find a proper ending for it. I’m sure you’ll be seeing it again in the near future.

Well, here’s to hoping that your weekend is long and the nights don’t find you sober!

Hump Day Duality

smiling camel

Hump Day Duality

Middle of tha’ week and
I’m just a tad tapped out,
Monday’s on the backside but
Friday’s a lingering doubt
Sulkin ’round in the back
of my mind,

sending ghosting echos of
weekend shades, ring in my
ears of bar-made better days
where two words didn’t stand
obstructing my path,

it’s just the linger sting,
the bittersweet last of
Wendsay’s duality,
a hump day stagnation callin’,
on both future and past.

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I’ve done Monday poems, I’ve done Friday poems but, folks, this is my first ever hump day poem. It might be a crude little rhyme, but I think it worked out alright. There just happens to be that elation but also that sort of ‘crap I still have two days to go’ feeling till the weekend.  Anywho, hope you enjoy and that your hump day ends quickly so you can truely be on the down slope of the work week! Continue reading →

Pop Goes

Pop Goes Your-

Pop Goes Your-

Pop goes your well-made plans,
the checking book,
earned promotions and
anything else you might have been
a countin’ on

because the universe, my dear friend,
will go on until your end,
sadly, without a thought in its head
that you were anything more
than a dream it might have
once forgot.
_______________________________________

Mornin’, folks. Well, a bit closer to the afternoon now but, heck, first day back from a vacation and I’m still having that sort of ‘life lag’ of not wanting it to be over yet. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this lil’ diddy up above. It’s short but it has a point: things happen, and the world goes on no matter how unfair you think what has happened is, or even how devastated you might be. In the end, it’s all you, and you just have to keep that in mind and move yourself along or, before you know it, you’ll have gone no where at all while the world just passes you by!

Bitter Whine

wine cork

The Bitter Whine

Mornings like this
make me wonder
why I ever gave
drinking up,

why I traded in
my shot glass
and took up
a coffee mug.

I shoulda joined
the band at the bar,
I could have been
famous, drinking
whiskey all the time,

but I had to go
and get educated
and now, all I ever
have to drink
is this bitter whine.

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Mornin’, Folks. It’s Monday again, isn’t it? I’ve tried to ignore that fact myself. However, it’s there all the same and I hope you enjoy this short little crude rhyme and it at least gives you a lil bit to smile at as you start your week.

As for myself, I think I’ll have a bit of chateau de suck-it-up, and try my best to make it through the day 🙂

Patience Lost

Graciously I give my patience
and slowly I swallow my pride
but some days there’s not a god
in all of history that can grant
me the strength I need to abide
by the ignorance I find myself
surrounded by.

________________________________________

It’s simple. It’s to the point. It’s Friday. Here’s to hoping that your weekend is long and Monday seems a world away!

Semper Paratus

Semper Paratus

Semper Paratus

This morning there’s
gin in the orange juice
and rum in my mug,
and, today, the thermos is packin’
a little more love,

cause there’s a jam on main street
and drama in the office,
a nag back home,
and lint in my pockets,

files all a’piling
and a boss hawking my desk,
a co-worker squawking
and making a mess,

and the calendar’s shrieking
rest is a long week away
so I’m saucing up early-
cause it’s just bound to be
that kind of day!

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Welp, it’s Monday again, folks. No matter how hard we fight it, it always rears its ugly head. To deal with this  little fact, I present the poem above with all its suggestions.  In fact, I’ve kind of taken to the idea of creating a group that is dedicated to the fact. I’m thinking of calling it “Alcoholics For-All-Of-Us”- a group that drinks for those who can’t for various reasons. Sort of a civil duty, really. Heck, now that I think of it, I feel like I’ve been dodging some sort of honorable calling for not doing so sooner!

Anywho, I hope you got a little laugh out of this morning’s poem. It’s a bit crude but, well, I thought it might be some fun. Here’s to hoping your Monday passes quickly by!

When It Rains…

woman sitting with head in hands

When It Rains…

it pours. And a million times a million problems follow, creeping, slithering, and whispering until each nagging obligation seeps into your ears and becomes a roar that you swear will tear your head in two if just one more thing, if just one more, turns its black decaying, decrepit claws to you, begging with open hands to be dealt with, crying with gaping maws of mediocre malevolence, each issue immaterial but in your mind as solid as cement and yet, these beasts of beckoning are as easy to shatter as glass, and if you turn to face them, or if for help you ask, you find them nothing more than nagging shades that stand silent in the presence of determination and, when faced by responsibility, as if  made imaginary by the anti-material of which they are made, why, in the face of a responsible soul, this army of malingering creatures and each and every problem that rears its ugly face, they do simply what they do best-

they just fade.

 

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So, this one look a little odd to you? Yeah, it might. I happened to be forced onto my tablet because, in the middle of my last two weeks of class while final projects are coming up and I need to access critical information stored for an interview, my PC has taken to giving me the cold shoulder and refuses to turn on. Was it something I said? Did it feel used? Is this its way of saying that it needs space? Either way, when it rains, it pours and up above is a completely raw poem. That is, by the way, how most of my poems start. I either scrawl them on the white board or just start typing like a mad woman till it all comes out and, well, that is exactly what you see above.

Anywho, needless to say I might be missing a few crucial documents. You know, insignificant ones like my poem notes and all DBA text. A.k.a. that poem came directly from my fuming, but dealing with accordingly, heart. Enjoy and I hope your week is far better than the one I’ve been having!

 

 

The Week’s End

People walking out door quickly

The Week’s End

Five days of souls dehydrating,
coffee residing in veins
where blood used to be,
bags under sunken eyes,
chunks of hair torn out,
laugh lines corrupted
and running south.

Left overs and patience
growing ever so thin,
chores and joy abandoned,
depression settling in,
sanity threatening a boycott,
hope and patience running out.


But the calendar, a cruel
methodical master, and its cohort
the meticulous clock, gather
to gawk, working together,
they sit and watch the
marionette’s strings pulled
taut, dangling and dancing
they chuckle and give a
whispering shout:


Welcome to the week’s end,
my finite little friends, and
enjoy it while you can
’cause time is running out.

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Congratulations, you’ve made it: Welcome to the weekend!  Enjoy it while it lasts and refuel because the dreaded M-word is heading back your way again. That dreaded clock and its friend the calendar never lay off, do they?  Oh well. Least we’ve got a few days of reprieve before heading back to the grind of it all!

As for news around here, now that I’ve gotten my final out of the way, I’ll be back to regular posting and getting out a chapter of Death By Analysis out this weekend to catch up on time lost. Other than that, I’ve got a few things coming next week that have to do with my utter appreciation for every follower/viewer that visits here, and a lovely poem in the works titled Death By Chocolate and, if it works out right, a little one called The Emperor’s New Clothes.

Anywho, here’s to your weekend being awesome and the hours going by slowly!

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