Tag Archives: Monday humor

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When Science can't help...

When Science can’t help…

6 Scientific Reasons Mondays Are the Worst

via Mental Floss.

On a lesser note, guess who is back from their hiatus, folks? I look forwards to bringing you some new poetry soon but, until then, let me put a little smile back in your Monday. It’s been far too long since it’s been done and I owe you a little back rent on some Monday mirth.

In case you’re a little more in need, check out my Pinterest for some Monday Humor or take a look back at my previous Monday poems. And, if you’re feeling a little nostalgic, check back at this poem published last year on around this date.

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Tumbling

Joke text

Tumbling

Head over heels in a
non stop fumble
dropped the ball long ago
and I’m left to wonder
when this annoyance will ever
stop.

Got one hand out to break
but it keeps getting bent
close my eyes and
I’ll never see this end
least not while
I’m still kicking and
alive.

So I’ll roll with these
punches but I wont
let my dreams go
might get a bit dirty
but I wont get low and
hopefully one day
I’ll find my fabled way
out.

_____________________________

It’s Monday…isn’t, folks? Well, I apologize for that tiny bit for those of you who have to work on the week cycle. Just know that I’m here, feeling your pain. Evident from the post and the picture above, I’m stuck on that repeat rerun of a routine at the moment as well. Just remember to keep looking for your way out while going along with the flow.

On a slightly happier note, which is strange for a Monday, I know, A is for Amuseless has officially been created for a year now and I just have to say it has been a whole lot of fun. I’ve got some amazing followers here, and I’ve had the chance to meet so many other writers that I wouldn’t have missed this opportunity for the world. Now, I’ll save the sappiness for a later post, I’ve got another mile marker that I will hopefully hit this week since I am only around twenty-six followers away from hitting 3,000. Means another post for you and a much-needed cupcake for me ūüėČ

Well, here’s to hoping that your day flies by and that you’ve got something cold and on the rocks waiting for you at home tonight.

Nature of the Machine

 

stylized picture of gears

Nature of the Machine

Used to be
motivated, dedicated
now just dry rotted and
a little jaded
but I’m still truckin’
along just fine.

However, now pauses find me
like an ancient ill-oiled
tired machine
where the fear of stopping
for just a single moment
might mean the cessation of
actually being.

So I sit still and tick
click and twitch when
the thought of being
still comes to mind
annoyed now to find that
long weekends make me
ill at ease and
chomping at the bit
for work at nine.

_____________________________

Well, hopefully you’re here in the states and you’ve had the chance to take it easy this Monday, folks. If not, well at least you’re doing what your’re doing. I have sort of come into this strange predicament. I’m happy not to be doing what I have to be doing, but at the same time, I still feel that things need doing…which is confusion on its own to say, let alone feel. Either way, I think productivity has finally caught up with me. Which leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Either way, I hope you are enjoying your day or at least have something cold and on the rocks waiting for when you get home tonight!

 

Monday Already?

wrist watch on man's arm

Monday Again

Where have the hours gone and
when did they go?
I was sitting in good company
sipping on better and
next thing I know,
that damned alarm clock
sets to leering,
jeering at the circles
set under to hold
open my eyes and tsking
with tics that I’ve got
to do something to somehow
make a life
whether I like it
or not.

___________________________________

I know, I know- It’s Monday again. Let me be the first to apologize for that little inconvenience. ¬†Still, we’ll just have to do the best we can, I suppose and drag ourselves along. To help out with that, up there was a little something to let you know that your not alone. Hell, I didn’t finish with this post till nearly one thirty in the morning, so my whole demeanor isn’t bound to be too far off.

So, if you feel me, raise ¬†a cup of coffee in my honor and we’ll caffeinate our way together through another tedious, drawn out, no good, rotten Monday.

Skin of My Teeth

Skin of My Teeth

Skin of My Teeth

I swear that if I
caught a break I
wouldn’t know what
to do with it,

always on edge,
ready to move,
taking a defensive
position, and ready
to follow through,
with whatever crisis
needs adverting
this time round,

but, come each brand
new hell, you can
bet I’ll still be
found lingering long after
the brimstone cools
right on down ,and
the spotlight shines
on the one who just
barely got by, unlike
all the unfortunate rest.

_________________________________________________________

We’re here again, aren’t we, folks? Monday’s done come and spoiled our fun (oooo, I like that line for another poem. Noted ūüėČ ) but, like the soldiers we are, we’ll just have to keep carrying on until that long road marches us right into our next reprieve. Until then, I hope my writing this week will help sweep things along. That is, of course, unless any more bombs get dropped around here as seems par for the course of fate.

This little guy is a reminder that, no matter what, that most of us are survivors who live dodging one crisis to the next and that, no matter what’s going on, you’re not alone it in; I feel your pain, my friend! ¬†Besides, adversity seems to make us show our best, whether we like it or not.

Here’s to hoping that your work day is short, your boss caught either a case of kindness or that nasty lil’ virus where they can’t talk long enough to annoy you, and that you’ve got something cold and refreshing waiting back home for you when the day finally comes to an end.

Meaner By the Minute

577152_638110332876648_1424589434_n

Meaner By the Minute

I swear Monday’s just make me
meaner by the minute,

clock goes off,
I get up,
and my mind starts
ticking,

Hour hand slicing
and minutes searing,
severing my last few
nerves while
the seconds are gearing
to make me twitch,

to get circuits to spark,
to try and make me
ignite and erupt,
and blow sky-high
the first $^*%!g hero,
who tries to push his
dumb luck.

________________________________________________

There’s not much we can do about it, folks- It’s Monday again. I know that the day sometimes leaves me with a short fuse and, well, I’m sure it does a few of you too. So here’s a little poem to hopefully make your day less grueling and get you by a bit quicker.

Malevolent Monday

storm cloud over city

Malevolent Monday

Stumbling up that stairwell,
regretting the way that
‘going green’ makes you move,
creaking to the cubicle ,
and getting in’ta that
cruel sorta mood

Where you’re imagining Godzilla
out the winda’, reachin’ in and
snatching your boss straight up,
Bonds’ bazookas coming out of
your desk and exploding your
partner’s coffee cup,

Cobra Commander storming up the
stairs, waving his boys on in,
and Loki leaning on the water cooler
with that ‘you’re so screwed’ sort
of grin,

And there’s a thousand terrible scenarios
that you’d rather see unfold,
than deal with that endless wave of work
which no force of evil can
control.
_________________________________________

I don’t think I have to tell ya that it’s Monday, as I am sure you’re feeling it already. Above is just a crude little poem that plays to the inner geek in all of us, as I am sure you’ve had those mornings where you just wish something would come in and shake things up a little.

Anywho, I hope you enjoyed that lil’ ditty to start the week, and here’s to hoping that your Monday flies by quickly and that you don’t fell like you have to fear the rest of the week.

Bitter Whine

wine cork

The Bitter Whine

Mornings like this
make me wonder
why I ever gave
drinking up,

why I traded in
my shot glass
and took up
a coffee mug.

I shoulda joined
the band at the bar,
I could have been
famous, drinking
whiskey all the time,

but I had to go
and get educated
and now, all I ever
have to drink
is this bitter whine.

___________________________

Mornin’, Folks. It’s Monday again, isn’t it? I’ve tried to ignore that fact myself. However, it’s there all the same and I hope you enjoy this short little crude rhyme and it at least gives you a lil bit to smile at as you start your week.

As for myself, I think I’ll have a bit of¬†chateau de suck-it-up, and try my best to make it through the day ūüôā

Death or Taxes

man jumping from cliff

Death or Taxes

Death and taxes,
as sure as Mondays and
madness, the two sunderers
of men and yet a bypass
can be practiced.

I propose death OR taxes
a surly ultimatum,
I suggest playing Russian
roulette with the rules,
digging around in Schr√∂dinger’s
sandbox without medication,
placing hand-grenades in
the place of party pinatas,
and dancing off cliffs
without all the ropes to bother!

So hang all the rules,
and choose the less traveled
of two options, grab
the nearest pair of scissors
and take off through the office!

Jump over  the chairs and take
a sprinting leap for the windows,
common now, who’s with me? We’ll-
what, no takers?

Hmm, well can I say?
Courage like this takes practice,
now back to your screens,
you yellow stiffs,
and finish up those taxes.

_________________________________________

Happy Monday and Tax day….Wow. That’s a bit of overkill, don’t you think? Either way, here is a little post to commemorate the wonderfully annoying parts of today. It’s a bit of a crude rhyme, bit it was too fun to pass up. ¬†Hope you enjoy!

Awesome Picture: Derek J by Phil Watt

Monday Mantra

Worker balancing globe on finger

Monday Mantra

I will not
scream at stop lights
glare at coffee pots
nor envy my office mates new
computer screen.

I will not think
about hiding tacks on seats
turning power breakers off
of my failed expectations
and where they could have taken me.

I will
turn on fifth street
take the stairs on the way up
straighten up my desk and, maybe,
wash out my coffee cup (for once).

I will think
of how this is helping
of where I am going
of when I will get there
and what time I get off.

I will
learn from my mistakes which
I will not
be stupid enough to make again.

I will
remember all my hopes and dreams and
I will not
ever loose sight of them.

Break.Huzzah.Amen.

__________________________________________________________________________

Well, folks, it’s Monday again. Sorry bout that. ¬†Read this poem, memorize it. Look in the mirror. Repeat it. Over and over again. Should help! Just kidding. Really, here’s something that I hope makes you smile at the¬†beginning¬†of this week and know that the hardest part is now over: you managed to make it out of bed on a Monday.¬†Congratulations, you’re my hero. Now go get ‘um, tiger.

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